I swear I’m soooo good! Yes, I’m the best bad cook and the most amazing bad cook ever! So I was about fourteen when I made custard for my brother and I as mum was out. My sci-fi or warped mind won’t let me be so I experimented with a new recipe out of nowhere. I poured that tastily yummy water that was used to boil meat into the custard and added seasoning seasoning to it. Boy! I selflessly served it to my younger brother first so that he’d taste it and commend my kitchen genius. He lapped at a spoonful and gave me a look that needed no interpretation. I was a foolish elder brother as the custard tasted like punishment. He abandoned me with my rubbish while I enjoyed my well deserved punishment.
Jump to some twenty something years later, I have learned to brag about not knowing how to cook so that no one would dare get poisoned by me. Anyways, it’s November 17, 2019 and I’m home alone so I decided to cook me some beans. This is where you get to realize what a great bad cook I truly am. I didn’t wash the beans so as not to wash away the organic whatever, lazy me? Forty minutes later, the beans was badly burnt. No cries. I threw it into another pot and sieved the water out, now the beans is washed is it not? It was one third of parboiled beans so I fetched some out into a separate bowl, an idea had come and I’m gonna make me some beans cookies. I’ve done it before as a child and it tasted nice, I’d do it again but first, let me finish the main beans which is now in another pot.
Thirty minutes later, it was close to getting burnt again so I quickly added that red palm oil, salt, thyme, curry and pepper just to spice it up. Beans concoction? Twenty minutes later, it was on its third round of burning so I added more water and more palm oil. Five minutes later it was done!
Now to my other beans in the bowl. Hmmm… yummy feels my tummy as I poured some groundnut oil in the frying pan, allowed it to heat up and threw the beans into it. Five minutes frying time and it was almost golden brown. Oh no burnt offering this time! Sprinkled some milk on my beans snacks and ready to eat. Don’t say I made a mistake cos I’m still the best bad cool on this planet! And to all men who don’t know how to cook. Appreciate the one who fed you with tastiness. Beans, Beans Snacks & Beanscuit.
“That we’re Friends From Forever and would be Friends Forever is my Happiest Joy in Life”
Shepherd Godsbaby, a multi-skilled broadcaster was with the Lagos State Radio Service, Nigeria where he served as Presenter, Newsreader, Voice-Artist, Producer, Social Media Manager and Scriptwriter. Earlier, he freelanced with Radio Continental (now Max FM) after interning with Metro 97.3 FM and Voice of Nigeria (VON). He also worked with Focus Cable TV as Presenter and Head of Content Production Department. He was Relationship Life Doctor, Mentality Detective, Life Coach and Media Project Consultant helping many hearts and homes find fulfillment and helping corporate brands gain media positioning. As a startup expert, he helped built Africa Business Radio and Travel Radio Live, two digital radio platforms where he served as Creative Content Producer and Programs Lead. In a past human life, he was an interplanetary media correspondent to his cosmic family whose noblest interests he came to represent on Earth. Today, he returns as a whistle-blowing mind with relevant information to enlighten, empower and engage the human family towards a sustainable journey of life within the cosmos which is our collective playground. Having journeyed in and out of Earth’s religious and psychic hive-mind, he qualifies as a trust-worthy friendthority (a friend with authority) to help others “come out of her”. You and the whole world are therefore blessed to share in his experiences, lessons, encounters, experiments and failures. More importantly, he is blessed to be here with you and with all of us at this particular timeless moment!
” I am a living presence, a self-conscious awareness, a spirit being, a divine force-field and yes, a human being right here, right now. All words fail to describe the greatness that we are but we try to express our awesomeness in the life we live from moment to moment, this is not about me but us for I am a collective individual. Alone, I am not. Together, we are one. I am a service-driven entity, a responsive soul, I am guided by truth, wisdom and love. While I am a private tutor to many and a qualitative talent manager to a community, I am also a musician and I can’t cook to save my life. Wherever the Mother leads, I follow!”
Let no one mistake me for a god, lord or God, I find no joy in such vain-glories. Mystery is my-story but so it is for everyone of us. My wish is for my journey and expressions to inspire you to walk your life expressions!