I call myself an omnigamist.
After spending years trying to understand the way my own being naturally relates, loves, and enters into union with other beings, I eventually realized that no existing word adequately described my lived experience. Omnigamy became my own language for what I had discovered within myself.
This, therefore, is not a new relationship ideology, lifestyle, or moral system for the world. It is simply the language through which I describe my own being. If you find yourself reflected in it, you are welcome to the realization I share. If not, that changes neither my experience nor yours.
Monogamy and polygamy, as they are commonly understood, concern human marriage.
Omnigamy concerns something prior to marriage.
Union.
Omnigamy begins with the recognition that all life already shares a common origin in the Source of Life from whom all beings proceed. Before we become husbands or wives, fathers or mothers, teachers or students, friends or strangers, we already participate in a deeper oneness that no human institution created and no human institution can dissolve.
Human relationships do not create this union.
Human governments cannot legislate against it, try as they might.
The more honestly I observed my own life, the more impossible it became to believe that love originates within me as an isolated individual. It did not. Love is not something I feel because of something I see. What I call love is simply my conscious participation in a union that already exists. Every genuine relationship is an opportunity to remember that original communion.
This is Omnigamy.
It is not the multiplication of marriages.
Omnigamy is the recognition of an indivisible marriage already present within life itself. The omnigamist recognizes itself to be married to all life forms, and to all beings simultaneously and is in such a union with each one for its own unique existence. Not as a husband to a community of wife-playing beings but as one who is in an unbreakable union with each and all.
Everything else is an expression of that union, whether they are shaped into monogamy, polygamy, exogamy or endogamy among all the other -gamies.
Marriage Beyond Possession
If union precedes marriage, then marriage can no longer mean possession.
Marriage becomes participation.
To marry another, in the deepest sense, is not to acquire a human being but to consciously enter a stewardship of a union already rooted in the Source from which both persons arise.
This understanding transformed the way I see every relationship.
- Ownership gradually gave way to stewardship.
- Control gave way to honour.
- Expectation gave way to presence.
- Fear gave way to trust.
Love ceased to be something I attempted to manufacture and became something I learned to participate in. There is true freedom and liberty at the same time. No one has to apologize for their existence or how they exist in love. Everyone can be lovers in their realms of realization.
One Union, Many Expressions
The union from which Omnigamy proceeds expresses itself differently according to the nature of every relationship.
A parent does not love a child as a spouse. A teacher does not love a student as a friend. A neighbour does not love a stranger as a sibling. Yet each relationship may arise from the same underlying union.
The expressions differ.
The source does not.
For this reason, I no longer believe that authenticity requires identical expressions of love toward everyone. Neither do I require that anyone love me the way they love another. Nor do I ask for exclusivity in any form of relationship. Only sincerity of expression. That is enough.
Truthfulness requires precision in definition and expectations.
Each relationship deserves to become exactly what it truly is without borrowing its shape from another.
Like water taking the form of every vessel while remaining water, love assumes many expressions without abandoning its own essence.
This is not inconsistency.
It is integrity.
Love as Participation
I do not love for utility. If you could be truly “useless” in the sense of the word, that makes you useful as an example of “uselessness”. Nothing truly ever means nothing. Everything is something.
I do not love for gain. I enjoy what is shared and share what I will.
I do not love for performance. If asked to perform an act of love, I might because such is the request and agreement, if it was so brokered.
At the core of it all, I only love because loving is the native movement of my being. It is the easiest thing about me and the expression of divine grace within me. I am a lover, omniganically!
When I encounter another person, I do not experience myself as manufacturing love for them. Rather, I experience myself participating in a life already flowing through us both. The more deeply I recognise that shared life, the more naturally love appears. I have had to answer many questions arising from doubting hearts about what my love truly meant. This is my answer!
My love is less an emotion than a participation. It is less an achievement than a remembrance. It is less an obligation than an expression of what already is.
Sacred Individuality
Union does not erase uniqueness.
It reveals it.
Every person carries a distinct history, temperament, calling, capacity and rhythm of becoming.
For this reason, every relationship naturally assumes its own form. No comparison is necessary. No competition is required. No hierarchy is imposed. Each relationship becomes truthful by becoming itself. The purpose is never sameness. The purpose is coherence.
Stewardship
Because Omnigamy concerns union rather than possession, responsibility becomes even more necessary. Stewardship is what protects union from becoming indulgence.
- Without stewardship, love easily becomes manipulation.
- Without honesty, it becomes performance.
- Without discernment, it becomes confusion.
- Without boundaries, it becomes harm.
For this reason, Omnigamy continually demands more of me before it demands anything of another.
It requires truthfulness.
Self-examination.
Humility.
Consent.
Patience.
Discipline.
Presence.
These are not restrictions upon love. They are the conditions that allow love to remain recognisably itself within the world of experiential expressions.
Intimacy Without Scarcity
One of the greatest illusions I inherited was that intimacy behaves like property.
That if one person is deeply loved, another must necessarily receive less.
My own experience has never confirmed this. Love does not divide by being shared. It diminishes only when fear replaces truth. The heart, rightly stewarded, is capable of expanding without fragmenting because its life does not originate within itself.
It participates in a life greater than itself. Expansion therefore requires maturity, not permission.
The Living Marriage
When I speak of Omnigamy, I am not primarily speaking about romance.
Romance merely revealed it. Marriage confronted it. Friendship nurtured it. Stewardship continues to refine it. The deepest reality of Omnigamy is neither romantic nor social.
It is spiritual.
I understand myself to be already joined with all life through our shared participation in the Source of Life.
Every authentic relationship becomes one more opportunity to consciously participate in that original union.
- Some of those relationships become marriages.
- Some become friendships.
- Some become discipleship.
- Some become family.
- Some become brief encounters whose influence lasts forever.
The forms differ.
The union remains one.
A Living Witness
I do not present Omnigamy as a doctrine demanding acceptance. Nor do I offer it as a prescription for how others ought to live. I am offering it as the most truthful description I have yet found for the way my own being experiences life. And the way the love of my spirit-father towards all spirit-offspring is radiated effortlessly and stupendously without comparison.
It has taken me many years to stop arguing with that experience. Many years to distinguish my own nature from the expectations placed upon it. And still many years to discover that faithfulness to my being required greater courage than conformity ever demanded.
Omnigamy is simply the name I have given to that discovery.
Perhaps Omnigamy will remain a language that belongs only to me. Or maybe others will one day recognise themselves within it.
Neither possibility concerns me.
What matters is that I have found language that faithfully describes the reality I have lived. A life I once abandoned but not anymore.
I no longer experience myself as a separate being attempting to love many people.
I experience myself as one participant in an indivisible union of life, learning each day how to steward that union truthfully through every relationship entrusted to me.
That, for me, is Omnigamy in human form.